Monday, March 28, 2011

Weigh Days, Rollercoasters and Injuries, Oh My!

I just re-read the last post to remember where I left off.  I was struggling back on March 14th.  Since then I got back on track, and back off again.  Today, just in the last few hours, I think I'm back on track again.  This has been the first true rough patch that I hit.  Here's my story since the last post.  I did well with diet and exercise, though my shoulder started bugging me and got progressively worse until I had to put upper body workouts on hold.  But I hit lower body exercises extra hard.  That weigh day, March 17th, I had exceeded the goal I had set for March 24th by 1/2 pound.  I was on top of the world and wanted to rush on over here to share it with you but my laptop was down.  (I know I can post from my smart phone, but it's a pain and I really kept thinking hubby would get the laptop going.)  I had four compliments at the gym, one from someone I don't really know that well.  They had said that they see me working out, hauling all three kids along, and it was paying off.  Someone said even my face was thinner, which I had noticed but thought it was due to the stomach bug.  Nope, bug is gone and face is still thin!

Having the laptop down meant limited access to some of the technology that I rely on heavily for my weight pun, really.  The router and/or our internet provided server kept crashing and it really slowed my down in terms of counting my calories.  God forbid I should have to keep track with a pen and paper.  I guess it was just me making excuses for exceeding my calorie limits.  My shoulder kept getting worse and I missed the gym a bunch of times because of the boys being sick again.  Just colds, but its not right to bring them to the gym when they have nasty green boogies running down their faces...or was that just another excuse too?  So the next Weigh Day came, March 24th and I had gained 1/2 pound.  Huh.  I was so devasted and angry with myself at the time that I didn't realize until just now while blogging this, that I still met my goal for March 24th...24 pounds in 12 weeks.  Hmm.  I'm sitting here honestly shocked.  I felt so defeated and crushed and disappointed that I had gone sooooo far off course that I gained.  And yet I met my goal.  Wow.  Sooooo, I've been beating myself up for a week for a relatively minor crime, in the grand scheme of things.  I know there's a lesson in there somewhere.

The day after that Weigh Day my knee started to hurt, bad.  Possibly the result of all the extra lower body workouts?  And hubby brought home a bottle of wine, which we enjoyed over the course of two evenings.  Which also included cheese and crackers.  Low fat cheese, but, still.  And my knee pain brought exercise to a screeching halt over the weekend.  And I made pancakes for the fam, but actually ate some with them this time.  (Do you know that I've been making pancakes for them, but not eating them myself?  Eggs are more filling and fewer calories.)  And we went out, all 5 of us, for pizza and beer (only for 2 of us) on Sunday.  Guilt guilt guilt guilt.  Guilt guilt guilt guilt.  So today is Monday and I've been trying to reign myself in.  I feel like I lost control a little bit there.  After rest, ice and motrin, my knee is almost good enough to go to the gym.  I burned 600 calories on Wii Boxing just before I starting writing this.  I'm back.  My technology is back.  I've got to set the next goal.  I'll keep you posted.

For any of you out there who struggle with motivation or determination, or whatever, I hope you can see that I lost mine too...for a few weeks.  So you're not alone.  I beat myself up over it.  I regret that.  It's not useful, just wasted energy.  Some things were out of my control, but I made some weak choices too.  It seems to be about momentum.  The force that makes a moving body stay in motion.  The trick is to get it to swing around and start heading the right direction.

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