Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Struggling with Momentum

     I'm having a rough time.  Yes, I'm counting calories, which I know is a big help but I'm having a hard time burning calories, which means eating much less than I'm accustomed to.  I just can't seem to get that momentum moving my way again.  I have the drive, the motivation, but my body just won't cooperate.  The knee pain has improved greatly, but my physical therapist said to continue to rest it for another week.  That means non-impact exercise only, such as the elliptical machine and the bicycle.  I know I don't burn a whole lot of calories on the exercise bike, so I hit the two elliptical machines for 30 minutes each yesterday.  This was a decent burn, but it aggravated my two neuromas.  (A neuroma is a pinched nerve between your toes.  When they're really bad they burn and it feels like stepping on a marble everytime you take a step.  I already had surgery on the two, but they still bug me.)
     My shoulder pain turns out to be the rotator cuff.  This is pretty serious if you tear it.  Mine isn't torn but it's inflamed and irritated.  So when the physical therapist says to rest it, you better believe I have to rest it.  I am determined not to let it tear.  So that means no upper body workouts whatsoever.  I can't even lift my two year old, and I've had to reverse the direction of diaper changing.  For those of you who are changing diapers, try it....it's harder than it sounds.  The therapist actually said not to use that arm for a week, but, come on...three kids and one arm....you do the math!
     In the meantime my house is looking scummier and scummier and I just can't catch up on it.  I need to rest that arm.  I hate sitting around in a dirty house.  I find it depressing.  Hubby's schedule is wacky again this week and a half or so, so he isn't able to help out at home much. 
     I see the deadline for my goal slipping further and further off on the horizon, and I don't see anything I can do about it right now, and this is extremely depressing.  Beyond words, really.  My overall goal is still to lose 100 pounds.  I've been cruising along almost to the halfway point.  I wanted to hit my 100 by my birthday at the end of September.  Right now, it looks like the earliest would be mid-October, but that's if I were able to hit that 2 pound per week loss every single week, starting this week.  I think these injuries will set me back further than that.  The alternative is to drastically decrease the calories I eat, but this isn't healthy either because it will result in muscle loss.  My plan was to do this in a healthy way, so I guess I'll just be treading water for awhile.

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